Child sexual abuse

*CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*

Child sexual abuse is also known as child sexual molestation. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adultand a child.

According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that *1 in 4 girls* and *1 in 10 boys* experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.

*TYPES OF MOLESTATION*

-Defilement

-Rape

-Fingering

-Making a child watch pornography

-Exposing the genital to kids

-Indecent touching

-Fondling etc

*WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?*

*ANYBODY*

Studies show that over *95%* of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child's family.

*ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS*

They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members,neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, madrasah teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step  fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school/home lesson teachers, mummy's friend, daddy's friend, caregivers, strangers........ the list can go on.

Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because,there is no case of any of the above that we have not seen.

*CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*

Parental negligence, carelessness, non- challant attitude.

It is as bad as *No one can be trusted*

We have a child presently carrying a baby that belongs to her father*

*OTHER CAUSES*

Absentee parents.

Parents who do not observe.

When d kids are not informed.....

What u watch with your kids.

*WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?*

✓On your bed

✓Right under your nose, under your roof

✓In the school enviroment- class,toilet etc

✓Hostel 

✓Parties

✓ In their room (siblings)

✓Deserted/Abandoned places

✓ When you are distracted

 Etc

 Perpetrators look for opportunities.

 *5mins is enough to cause a life long damge*

*HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?*

1.Grooming

2.Baits

a. Emotional bait

b. Gift bait

c. Financial bait

d. Familiarity & Respect bait.

 Child grooming

Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-

Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

*HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER*

A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa

B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights d abuser or when d abuser is around.

C. Easily and conviniently accept to care for your child while you are away.

D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his *moves*

Etc

 If any of the above is observed, plssss, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among sibblings, set rules, seperate their rooms, seperate their beds.

We had a case of twins having sex with each other. When they were asked, they said: we see mum and dad do same.

Why should we be that careless?

Because of the carelessness of both parents,their innocent minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed.

*WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT*

•I will kill u

•You will die

•Your mummy will hate u

•Your mummy will beat you

•Your mummy will blame you.

•Your mummy and your daddy will die.

•He could cut d child, lick d blood and says ' *this is a blood convenant between us ,d day you tell is the day you die*

The *SRR*

-Teach ur child-

S - Shout/scream

R - Run 

R - Report

*POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED*

✓Isolation

✓Aggressiveness

✓Anxiety/Fear

✓Difficulty in walking

✓Sudden drop in academic performance

✓Poor social interaction

Etc

*OTHERS*

✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

 Their dressing is important, dress to cover them pls. Teach them privacy.They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.

It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.

 PLEASE NOTE

 *children never lie about abuse* If your child tells u someone is trying to mess  with him or her.... Please believe the child and respond appropriately.

*EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE*

-The abused child could become a *serial* abuser

-Depression

-Suicidal thoughts

-Stigma

-Guilt

-Lifelong psychological trauma

-Aggression

-Withdrawn

-Infected with STDs

Etc

*THE BOYS*

More often than not,we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.

With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims- anal sex but because we *do not pay attention*.

For them, healing is a terrible process.

*WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS* Something might just be happening and u perceive  not. Do not be a *hard* mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.

Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Eduacation.

Tell them what nobody must do with their body.

Tell them to *speak out*.

In the house, everyone must respect one another's privacy.

*SDGs Goal 3: Good Health and Wellbeing*